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TRUST
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.
Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger,
anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.
She answered, "Public Utilities Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer.
When she was goi! ng to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what w ill happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello"
instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for
a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your
secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.
Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and
weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected.
Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a
person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a
scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war.
We should always remember that when we point one finger at
a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage,
SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help
me to find a suitable one." The SDU offi cer said,
"Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened
carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found
between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind
wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf
husband cannot hear the! nagging of the wife. Many couples
are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the
excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover
that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to
overpower another,or demands too much. People in love
tend to think that love will conquer all and their
spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to
reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation
on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower
our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that
"A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation."
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other,we always
forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything
without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their
construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and
shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the
secondary school." On the way home, her millio! naire
husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,
"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise,
he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for
a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be
reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat
could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey
from the market. On the way home,a boy commented,
"Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"
Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the
donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it
and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can
the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"
Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband
ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk.
He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the
donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weig! ht of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow
bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost
their balance and fell into the river. You can never have
everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck."
Then he asked, "but when are my fi! ngers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired..
Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
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